1. |
Smashed Avocado
03:25
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Maybe I was everything I need to be at 19
But at 21 I feel I'm falling short,
Because I've been sleeping in and waking up at 3
And then I realise that todays already started without me
To compensate I stay up late
And contemplate whether or not to masturbate,
And fall into another dreamless state
In 5 days I graduate,
But I've got masters yet,
That's another 3 years to wait.
I'm getting better,
But I'm getting nowhere fast
I'm getting better,
But I'm getting nowhere.
And I know that these days keep getting better,
And I know that 10 years later,
I'll be reflecting with a smile
And so, I'm just trying to get better,
Yes, I'm trying to get better
Every time that I wake,
I'm looking forward,
Retrospective, introspection guides me towards
A better version of me,
And I'm being kinder,
Kind of looking forward to waking up tomorrow,
Let me make you breakfast darling,
Smashed avocado,
Is waiting for you on the table,
I'm out running,
While the rest of us are busy waking up.
I'm getting better,
But I'm getting nowhere fast
I'm getting better,
But I'm getting nowhere.
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2. |
Validation
03:27
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Right now,
I can't,
I can't feel my face and,
I know, I know,
I'm so fucking wasted but,
I wish, wish I,
I still had you with me but,
I know, you need,
You need to fucking hate me.
The worst part is we never fought,
We just shared a glance and we knew we both thought,
That we were headed in two different directions,
And for us to split up would save on future complications,
So we cried for an hour and watched Harry Potter,
And listed a million reasons that we'd both miss one another,
And I'm so proud of you in a million different ways,
I can't wait to see all the amazing things you do one day,
-but until then,
Right now,
I can't,
I can't feel my face and,
I know, I know,
I'm so fucking wasted but,
I wish, wish I,
I still had you with me but,
I know, you need,
You need to fucking hate me.
And I'm glad to see you happy,
Even though you're looking somewhere else,
I know we both need validation,
But I'm learning to get that from myself,
I've learned that I'm a valid person,
And I'm getting better every day,
And I hope one day you'll see that in the times when I'm away,
Because I swear I gave you everything just to make you feel okay,
And you promised me the same,
But I swear that you loved me with restraint,
A twisted part of me sees us with rings and kids one day,
So I'm sleeping in my car tonight,
I'll stay the fuck away,
From you.
Looking at old pictures
From when we went away
I swear I still hear you laugh at all the stupid things I'd say
And even though I miss you,
It's obvious the fact remains that,
We were falling out of love.
Right now,
I can't,
I can't feel my face and,
I know, I know,
I'm so fucking wasted but,
I wish, wish I,
I still had you with me but,
I know, you need,
You need to fucking hate me.
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3. |
Bad Dreams
03:37
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I just need a few days,
To be not okay,
Because right now,
I feel empty
And I've spent the past three years,
Just slaving away,
Only to come up hands empty.
This feels like a bad dream,
Wake up, In sweaty sheets,
I need you next to me,
I won't go quietly.
I was told clearly,
But clearly,
Things weren't as clear,
As they seemed.
And really,
I'm seething,
Because this whole situation
Was entirely avoidable.
This feels like a bad dream,
Wake up, In sweaty sheets,
I need you next to me,
I won't go quietly,
I've been drinking too much lately,
Been busy trying to escape me,
But if I can't go freely,
I swear I won't let this get to me.
This feels like a bad dream,
Wake up, In sweaty sheets,
I need you next to me,
I won't go quietly.
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4. |
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And later,
At the bar,
When the drugs have hit me way too hard,
I breathe in,
As the rooms spins,
Jug of beer in my hand when I look into your eyes,
I'm surprised,
When you talk to me and you ask if I'm alright,
I'm so high,
"Yeah, good thanks. I'm just happy to be here".
I'm having the most wonderful realization lately,
That people like me because of who I am,
I've always read over all my texts a million times,
But now I'm trying to revise them just a little less than I used to.
I'll find a new place to waste my time,
With new friends and old ones that are worth my time,
To reside into an altered state of mind,
Content in merely getting by,
I'll find a new place to waste my time,
With old friends and new ones with whom I align,
To reside into an altered state of mind,
Content in merely getting by,
I'm gonna get so stoned I can't even walk and,
Sit still so I can focus on talking,
While I try to remember where the fuck we are,
I'm too drunk for me to have gone that far,
But I'm glad I'm exactly where you are,because right now,
I feel I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
I'll find a new place to waste my time,
With new friends and old ones that are worth my time,
To reside into an altered state of mind,
Content in merely getting by,
I'll find a new place to waste my time,
With old friends and new ones with whom I align,
To reside into an altered state of mind,
Content in merely getting by,
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5. |
Life is Strange
02:25
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I moved back home with my mother and brother,
After a break up but I think I'm doing better for it,
New friends and my job prospects are getting better,
Just wish I lived a little closer.
I miss walking with Sam until the morning,
Spitting nonsense and talking about everything,
Key words and phrases didn't stick with me,
But I like to think I caught the jist of it
We said,
Life is Strange but I think I'm getting better and
Progression is great, it just isn't always linear,
My mistakes and shortcomings won't get the best of me because,
Life is great,
but it's not very easy.
I pulled your address out of my old melways,
And stuck it on my wall so you don't seem so far away,
I'm here again,
Living in Emerald but I'm studying at Deakin,
You're in Brunswick,
Surely there's somewhere in between them,
We could meet up and hang out.
We said,
Life is Strange but I think I'm getting better and
Progression is great, it just isn't always linear,
My mistakes and shortcomings won't get the best of me because,
Life is great,
but it's not very easy.
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Apprehensive Emerald, Australia
Apprehensive is an alternative acoustic musical project.
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